Reciprocity
wow ... i've been really anti-social lately and worrying over whether or not i could successfully re-insert myself back into society but what a relief to find that i'm actually still socially functional after all!
i just came back from dinner with my chicago friend and his fiancee ... it was great to reconnect with old friends again (who are especially dear to me because whether it's in nyc or dc, we always manage to have fun together). moreover, i've known them since they first started dating and kept in touch with them ever since.
i've recently had so many dinner parties go sour which is one of the reasons why i'm avoiding people. for one, i'm sick of people who bring politics to the table and start debating with each other in the middle of dinner. i get VERY easily annoyed when some people just have to beat their point to death and can't let things go sometimes. the worst of it is when people interrupt you in conversation. most of the time you can see this coming as you're talking because by the time you've started your sentence, they're already mentally forming a rebuttal against you. and then they never let you finish because once you've barely made your point, they're well on their way to interjecting their opinion or counter-argument against you.
it's such poor etiquette and bad form to do that which is why i always try and listen to the whole story, think about what they've said AFTER (and not while) they're done talking, and then carefully think up a response. people don't realize that when you continually and aggressively pursue an argument, you kind of end up coming off as lame and petty. evenings like that leave me so unsatisfied (which then leads me to think, 'what a waste of time' ... next time someone throws me an invite it will be an automatic "no!").
but i'm glad to say that last night was hardly the case. the conversation was intellectual without being pretentious, pointedly funny, unassuming, entertaining, and best of all ... informative. i enjoyed it immensely.
for me, having a good time at dinner means learning something new. rather than arguing over trivial details or infringing on personal beliefs and views (i.e. religion, politics, hot button issues ...), i'd mostly prefer to venture into an unfamiliar topic, listen, and then learn. hopefully, somewhere in that process, someone would learn something from me too.
see? ... reciprocity in the making.
i just came back from dinner with my chicago friend and his fiancee ... it was great to reconnect with old friends again (who are especially dear to me because whether it's in nyc or dc, we always manage to have fun together). moreover, i've known them since they first started dating and kept in touch with them ever since.
i've recently had so many dinner parties go sour which is one of the reasons why i'm avoiding people. for one, i'm sick of people who bring politics to the table and start debating with each other in the middle of dinner. i get VERY easily annoyed when some people just have to beat their point to death and can't let things go sometimes. the worst of it is when people interrupt you in conversation. most of the time you can see this coming as you're talking because by the time you've started your sentence, they're already mentally forming a rebuttal against you. and then they never let you finish because once you've barely made your point, they're well on their way to interjecting their opinion or counter-argument against you.
it's such poor etiquette and bad form to do that which is why i always try and listen to the whole story, think about what they've said AFTER (and not while) they're done talking, and then carefully think up a response. people don't realize that when you continually and aggressively pursue an argument, you kind of end up coming off as lame and petty. evenings like that leave me so unsatisfied (which then leads me to think, 'what a waste of time' ... next time someone throws me an invite it will be an automatic "no!").
but i'm glad to say that last night was hardly the case. the conversation was intellectual without being pretentious, pointedly funny, unassuming, entertaining, and best of all ... informative. i enjoyed it immensely.
for me, having a good time at dinner means learning something new. rather than arguing over trivial details or infringing on personal beliefs and views (i.e. religion, politics, hot button issues ...), i'd mostly prefer to venture into an unfamiliar topic, listen, and then learn. hopefully, somewhere in that process, someone would learn something from me too.
see? ... reciprocity in the making.
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