Disaster!
it's kind of nice to feel like this again ... being excited and nervous at the same time.
excited at the possibility, nervous towards the anticipation. it's the particle dance of foreplay, the imminence of risky undertaking, circling round another hoping to reach some unexpected yet thrilling conclusion.
but to find yourself looking at someone only to discover that they're looking right back at you can be a pretty wonderful feeling in itself.
i've recently come to believe that finding the right person is more often than not, a factor of both time and circumstance. it's a shrewd enterprise to say the least ... meet someone at the wrong time but under the right circumstances and you get, "disaster!" ... right time but under wrong circumstances, "disaster!" ... and the worst, wrong time and under the wrong circumstances, ("double disaster!").
i'm too selfish to be in a relationship. not only in terms of space (i need 10 ft of personal space around me at all times or else i might bite you) but with my time (you get ten minutes before i declare you boring) and stuff (THAT'S MINE BITCH!!). and at this present time in my life, i find the idea of co- or "inter-" dependency too nauseating and sharing is overrated.
so i felt like such an idiot when i found myself looking at him with a mix of wonder and curiosity; mouth slightly agape, eyes twinkling with bemusement and my happy little grin lurking in the corner ... only to have him mirror my stare in acknowedgement of his own wonder and curiosity of me.
and then of course, i became terribly terribly shy. but it is precisely in moments like these that maturity and experience intervenes to introduce none other than my equally terrible ego.
right person ...
right time ...
right circumstances ...
disaster!
excited at the possibility, nervous towards the anticipation. it's the particle dance of foreplay, the imminence of risky undertaking, circling round another hoping to reach some unexpected yet thrilling conclusion.
but to find yourself looking at someone only to discover that they're looking right back at you can be a pretty wonderful feeling in itself.
i've recently come to believe that finding the right person is more often than not, a factor of both time and circumstance. it's a shrewd enterprise to say the least ... meet someone at the wrong time but under the right circumstances and you get, "disaster!" ... right time but under wrong circumstances, "disaster!" ... and the worst, wrong time and under the wrong circumstances, ("double disaster!").
i'm too selfish to be in a relationship. not only in terms of space (i need 10 ft of personal space around me at all times or else i might bite you) but with my time (you get ten minutes before i declare you boring) and stuff (THAT'S MINE BITCH!!). and at this present time in my life, i find the idea of co- or "inter-" dependency too nauseating and sharing is overrated.
so i felt like such an idiot when i found myself looking at him with a mix of wonder and curiosity; mouth slightly agape, eyes twinkling with bemusement and my happy little grin lurking in the corner ... only to have him mirror my stare in acknowedgement of his own wonder and curiosity of me.
and then of course, i became terribly terribly shy. but it is precisely in moments like these that maturity and experience intervenes to introduce none other than my equally terrible ego.
right person ...
right time ...
right circumstances ...
disaster!
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