The Beginning of the End?

the ordeal that's been putting my mind to shambles for the past month is finally over.

for some time, after safely resolving and rationalizing out everything that needed to and should be said and done, i was, call it serenditpity, call it bad luck ... call it whatever you want.

i was very unceremoniously sucked back into the situation and promptly came undone.

again.

it's almost as if the past three weeks has become yet another game of exit foreplay. in the grand scheme of things, even though i knew that whatever attempts, however noble, he might make to restore the situation are ultimately futile in light of the situation, when you're battling and mostly losing against your doubts and questions and fears of the present, especially during the most uncertain of times, you not only feel kind of useless, but also very hopeless.

it's not the best time to be feeling very vulnerable either.

i just can't shake the guy.

but aside from all the emotional hoo-ha, he's done such a good job of really listening to me and being reassuring with words instead of sounding off on all that resentment and bitterness that i bet, is simmering underneath.

i wish i knew what was next, either/or, it doesn't matter. just so i could go on.

the reality is that i don't really or have ever believed that love can take care of the stupid details or the future for that matter, even if the love is truly there.

bridges might get crossed when you've got to get to the other side ...

but not when you've already burned them.